I’ve been called a “strong woman” so many times in the last 10+ years that I almost cringe when I hear someone say it. It is meant as a complement because I have been through so many challenges in my life and continue to not only survive, but thrive. But what I want you to know is that although I am “strong” in that way, even though it appears that I can take care of myself and don’t need you, I really do. I really do need you when I’m not capable of being strong. I don’t always want to take care of myself. Sometimes I want you to take care of me. Sometimes I want you to hold me, when my heart aches due to doubt or stress or even when it aches for no reason at all, because sometimes it just does. I want you to know that sometimes the very best solution you can provide is to let me be enfolded in your strong, loving arms. There my heart will be a ship that is safe in the harbor. The waves of doubt are no longer crashing and the waters of my emotions can be without ripples.
I want you to know that the foundation of my strength is tenderness, as seen in an unfettered love of my fellow man. This love sees only the perfection that is soul perfection and holds no judgment against any. I want you to know that while it is easy for me to extend this love to others, that sometimes I have difficulty showing myself this same love and I need you to gently remind me that I am just as important as those that I care so much about. While it is difficult for me at times to reflect this love on myself, I also know that I have reached a point in my life that I am no longer willing to only give, that the time has come for me to be open to receiving as well. Our bond sources from a fluid balance of both giving and receiving.
At times my fire burns very intensely and brightly. If I desire something, I want to understand it fully and completely. This means you as well. My curiosity about you will be never ending. In the beginning, I will want to learn as much as I can about you and will want to interact with you frequently. This is my intense desire for knowledge. But you, you understand this as you are curious about me as well and although society may say to take your time and not to rush things….I say trust your curiosity as I welcome it. I am a mystery to you and you to me that we each desire to solve, although somehow we know that the clues to discovering the mysteries may stretch the remainder of our lifetimes. A journey to discover that is endlessly fascinating.
My fire includes my desire to be sensual, to touch and be touched. Your touch sends tingles through my body even when simply grazing my hand or my arm, taking me to a place, if only in my mind, where we move in a fluid, sensual dance of animalistic desire, mutual respect and ecstasy. But once out of my mind and actually there, it surpasses that which I can even create in my mind as our souls and our bodies merge, acknowledging our agreement to create an energy that neither of us has created with another.
Do not be intimidated by the appearance of complete independence and strength, for though I can provide much of my basic needs, I cannot provide my need for the touch of a lover, a person to support me when I am vulnerable, a person who can match my fire yet can let me know when my fire is in danger of burning others, a person who can enhance my strengths and minimize my weaknesses.
I can’t provide those things but YOU can.
Originally written in 2014 for another website I had at the time. But this article is so much about self-care and self-empowerment, about knowing who you are and being vulnerable, that I wanted to post it here as well. I would love to hear your thoughts in the comments below and please feel free to share it with others who might need to read it.
© Julie Bradshaw, 2014-2016